A little awareness

How I am so grateful become the one who believe there is someone who beyond your mind and never leaves you whenever you want to go away and fall into the same dark place.

maybe it seems like abstract because you cannot see who He looks like, hear how His voice, touch how the soft of His skin, but one thing that is real for believers.... you can talk to Him and you can feel His Love.

HOW CAN I SAY IT?

I had a lot of tough process in my life. I never gain something in the smooth path. *like everybody have an instant process, haha* No, it is true. Even my mom admitted it. My processes are complex. I need to get down on the floor first, then somehow an open way presents and I offered something that I don't want at first, but after I keep doing it by faith. The "something" is more than I asked for.

Let me tell you a little bit of my journey to get a campus. I dreamed to be a student in one public school in Bogor. I tried my best to pass the examssss... I used my 3 months holiday to take some courses and tests. The result was nihil until I was tired and hopeless. One day, someone approached my mom and talk about a private school in Karawaci, yes, UPH. I am proud to be part of UPH. I cannot imagine if I never know this campus.

I knew this campus is my turning life when I did it by faith. I was not able to do it, but I was available to choose whether I study hard, improved myself, and forget that public school or study how to pass the admission test and don't focus on my own subjects at that semester.

My choice was the first one after I past my first semester and decided to join spiritual organisation. Who am I now? I learn about how technology of food is complex and WORD GOD IS REAL.

The past couple weeks ago, someone took MY BAG, so you can imagine I lost everything in that bag, including my 3 days handphone, my saving in ATM, my korean spoon and chopsticks, my handcream, my tinny holybible, my fav rotring pencil, and my house keys, .. and some little things which I forgot. When someone talked to me, they always say "You will gain more from God". Yes, I believe it. Thank God, I am a "let go" person. hehe. 'Nyesek sih.. tapi ya sudah lah, bukan rejeki' From my experience above, I just can do what I should do in faith, trust the process, and do not ever go away. face it. Let see what the way will open in the future.

Well, I am getting stronger now. I learned one thing.

AWARENESS.

my cousin said "ya, your awareness is minus. how can you walk slowly while there is an earthquake?" I feel everything is okay around me and nothing bad happen. I never notice something weird, even I know, I won't comment it and try to see the positive things. why? simply because I don't like being complained.

From now, I always look around and see what is going on beside me. Should I help them? Should I move away from my place to the other? Should I ask them to chit chat? or do something simple to share that you are aware about them.

and my awareness is increasing now. a bit ....

and try my best to stay focus and keep aware what is around me.